Good Health Praise God

My life is happening exactly the way God has/is writing it out. Clearly God didn’t give me sickness, it’s the broken world we live in. Also, sickness can be caused due to a lot of different things…stress, environmental factors, genetics, etc.

Am I mad that I’ve had to deal with sickness for about 24 years? Not necessarily mad, just upset.

Has it been a downfall? Both yes and no.

I’ve had many ups and downs regarding Celiac Disease, Epilepsy for 10+ years and now Myositis and Scleroderma.

Getting Through K-12 & College while dealing with Epilepsy

Even though Epilepsy was hard to deal with, I still managed to get through K-12 schooling. It definitely wasn’t easy. It was SUPER hard. I had many tutors both inside AND outside of school. I had my families help. (Thank you to my mom who had the crazy amount of patience even when it was hard ❤️). Even through the struggles, I managed to graduate high school even when I didn’t think I was going to.

After graduating high school I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. My mom kept pushing for me to go to college so eventually I went. Getting my AA took 3 years due to taking classes that I shouldn’t have been in. Now, I’m about to get back into online school and work for my BA in Elementary Education ☺️ After getting my AA I told myself I didn’t want a BA and that an AA was “good enough”… surprisingly, my thoughts decided to change after a few years. Now, I’m EXCITED to get a BA. I honestly want a Masters too, but that can wait a few years after getting a BA. Thankfully to be a teacher, you just need a BA.

The funny thing is, for me, I think college is easier than high school. I can’t really explain why that is. I just learn better.

Not needing Epilepsy medicine anymore 🙌

I was SO HAPPY when I went into remission with Epilepsy 2-3 years ago. I had taken pills for about 10 + years. The first time my doctor tried weaning me off didn’t go so well. It took 2 tries. Thankfully the second time worked. It just took another few years before attempting a second try.

More sickness

Now, getting hit AGAIN with sickness… it does suck. But all I can hope for is that I’ll go into remission. There’s no cure. But as of right now, I’m glad my health is under control. My health was so bad that I have to see my doctor once every month for awhile for check ups. I also have to get infusions twice a year…

I’ve always been curious for why my life had to involve sickness… when I was younger I was mad. But now as a young adult, it is frustrating, but all I can do is cling to Him.

Do I ever wonder if more sicknesses will come? Honestly…yeah that has crossed my mind a few times. Even my family has said “it just doesn’t end for you does it?” And honestly, it kind of seems like it. I never get to “catch a break”. I know sickness is not my story. It IS apart of my testimony, but sickness doesn’t always mean the end.

Do I worry about having kids and then my sickness passing onto them? Yes. I do worry about that. But, my doctors have reassured me that just because I am going through it, doesn’t mean that they will too.

It’s CRAZY what I have seen over the years with what my body has been/is capable of.

Jesus in the Storm

Through everything, Jesus never left my side. Thankfully with cutting out gluten, I’ve managed to feel more clean after I eat meals. I eat A LOT throughout the day. My grandma says “every time I see you, you’re always eating something” and honestly it’s true… sometimes I eat too little and other times I eat too much. Getting in enough protein is the hardest part for me, because I LOVE carbs.

I’ve been noticing that I’m slowly but surly gaining healthy weight and it’s made me happy. Gaining muscle has been a struggle though. I’ve noticed so much improvement which Praise God for! It just still discourages me sometimes though. I used to be able to workout with 20 lb dumbbells, but can now barely use 10 lbs.

This is unfortunately going to be a longer process than I thought. It hasn’t even been a full 2 months since I left the hospital. I thought I would “bounce right back”, clearly I was wrong…But, thankfully I’m breathing normally again and I can finally swallow food without feeling like I’m choking. There was more symptoms that I struggled with, but those took a pretty big effect. Even though the process is long, Jesus is right beside me helping me along the way and I couldn’t be more grateful for everything He has done ❤️

This healing process is not easy, but it’s going to get better. Every day is a new day.

If you’re going through a healing process of any kind like me, give yourself grace. Even though it may have been a long time coming, be easy with your body, it was put through A LOT. You’ll get back to yourself again, it just takes time. Remember to thank God for all the small improvements. Even with putting in our part to help ourselves, God is working behind the scenes 🥰🙏